Good choice

Did you know that as a teenager I thought I wanted to be a doctor when I grow up. A medical doctor. They do valuable work, sometimes even noble. Save human lives in hard conditions. And it is a "good profession" . And they make good money. And I didn't know many things a person could do.

But I never aspired that career. I got a Master's Degree in Accounting and Business Administration instead. Ended up as an auditor. That is SO not what I thought I would become. Even while studying I wasn't one bit of interested in auditing. I didn't really even took the audit related courses. Well, I still wouldn't want to be an external auditor, that's a whole another thing. But hey, good news is, I think it worked out for the best.

Let me tell you why. Firstly, on most days I truly enjoy my work. And still, I learn something new in ever audit. From selling of waste ash to treasury functions, and everything in between. And, my work takes me around the world, and I like that too. Occasionally, I am really really exited about my work.

Which is all swell. But why I really think it worked out for the best is this:

- When I know I have to go give a blood sample, I start to hold my forearms, in the area close to my elbows, to protect the area where they draw the blood. I do it even if I think about blood samples. I am doing it now, too.

- I nearly lost conciousness when a dentist took my wisdom teeth, when hearing the cracking sound of the bone breaking. After the procedure, in home, I was sure I am going to pass out from the blood loss, and J. will not come home before 6 hours later. Don't even get me started how well I handled the eye operation I had last year to correct my sight. The doctor said after the operation she was sure I will pass out in the middle of the thing, so white was my face.

- When I had a tic in my eye in May, I was sure I had a brain tumour (Google was a great help in arriving to this conclusion). I was nervous for a week and then when the panich grew, I went to see a doctor. Turned out I should be just fine, and the tic disappeared pretty soon after that. When my friend, who actually is an MD, had an epileptic seizure for no obvious reason, she was just bummed she could not drive a car for a while. Other than that, business as usual.

- Last time I was in Finland I went to pick up a dress from a seamstress. She, for some reason, started to depict to me IN DETAIL the blood disease her husband had gotten. The way he is bleeding INTERNALLY. How the blood is not coagulating (hyytyä, in Finnish) at all. How the inside of his mouth becomes black. I was standing there feeling horrible while she was finishing my dress. I couldn't run, but I wanted to.

I tried to concentrate on the sweet, soft ears of my dog. That usually helps for anything. But she kept going on and on about the blood. The skin getting dark brown spots, when he bleeds unders the skin... Oh Lord have mercy. Finally the dress was ready and I had to leave running out of the door. I reclined my car seat and sat there for 15 minutes breathing in and out. In and out. In and out. Then I drove home with an open window for fresh air, but still feeling very wobbly. This is one of the most traumatic events in my life. Ok, at least this year.

- But this might be my personal record. I watched the Simpsons, you know, the CARTOON today. Homer was suffering from heart problems. The heart was shown to pump in an erratic, frantic pace. And then he gets a heart attack. And I get dizzy. And nauseous. I have to lie down for a while. I certainly will not watch the full episode.

Now you see what I mean? It all worked out exactly the way it should.